"My Little Pony" is the work of Satan

My five-year-old really, really wanted a My Little Pony, and eventually a toy-purchase occasion came up and we got it for her. It looks innocent enough: rounded contours, big Bambi eyes, a flowing mane, a cute name, magnetic hoof, saddle, jeweled crown, and of course, wings. The package contains no warning, though, that this toy is actually a channeling device for Satan's helpers to insert evil thoughts and attitudes into the minds of children.

It apparently acts as some kind of amplifier. The jealousy that spawned the original request for the toy (the other kindergarteners all have one!) didn't go away--it grew like a bottom-feeding giant squid. Simply having this thing in her possession makes her unhappy. The bad feelings have spilled over into all areas of her life, leading to hour-long tantrums around going to school, going to bed, and anything in between.

God, give us strength to overcome the curse of My Little Pony. Amen.